Because beauty is not about how symmetrical your face is, how much you remind people of a celebrity, or how good you are at applying makeup. Beauty lays in your lightness, your compassion, in the truth of your smile. Beauty is everything that you cannot see but are aware of all the same.
The more I look at advertisers online, the more they are blurring into one seamless entity. I keep seeing the same full lips, the same makeup, the same sized breasts, the same lingerie. A few months ago, I attempted to book an escort for my best friend and her partner but I couldn’t make a decision, despite the fact that I was spoilt for options…. I just couldn’t tell anyone apart.
I’m really surprised that I’m feeling like this when I look online, as we have had such a huge explosion of workers within the industry. It seems however that girls are trying more and more to conform to a specific “look” and are losing the unique quirks to their own physique that give them an individual identity. The slight bend in their nose that I noticed one year is gone the next… their beautiful natural small boobs are replaced by beautiful silicone ones. It’s becoming increasingly common, and may or may not be an issue – it all comes down to the reason why they are doing it.
Now I’m not anti-surgery or anti-antiaging. I’m a sucker for a high quality moisturizer and a wicked beauty regime. If someone feels that they want to change something because it will make them more confident, or more independent, or happier… then I’m all for it.
I’ve had botox for 3 years, and love it. The reason for me? I am about to complete my second grueling degree, and there were many moments when I struggled internally with my decision. My emotions ran away from me mid way through the degree and I found myself feeling increasingly sad. Botox was a way for me to control this. How? Research has been conducted on women who use botox and they have found that people who use botox are less likely to suffer depression. Why, you may ask? Well, it’s a lot harder to feel sad when you can’t physically frown. I noticed that and have tapped into it in order to survive the last 4 years. I’m so grateful that I did.
I also decided last year that I wanted to get lip filler. I had considered it for 3 years, and chickened out every time. The reason why I was so concerned for myself was because I didn’t actually want to change my lips… one side was just less full than the other. So I found a lady that specialized in natural aesthetics and I finally had my lips evened up. No one noticed that I had it done, and no one even really noticed that my lips were uneven – so I hear many of you wondering why I had it done in the first place. It just came down to me. I wanted it for my own self confidence – I didn’t do it for anyone else except me, because no one else saw this except me. And I’m so glad that I did it.
When the reason for change is for yourself, changing your image can be life defining and positive. Take the Mum who had 3 kids, or the woman who was dealt A’s by mother nature, who wants perky, full breasts to feel sexy again…. We can all understand that. More often than not though, the “renovations” that women are having done to their bodies are stemming from a place of discomfort and unacceptance about the very aspects of themselves that makes them stand out from a sea of beautiful bodies. They change it to try and make themselves more appealing to other people, and tell themselves that they will be happier when people accept them more with this new look. Here’s the thing though…. You will never fully be accepted by everyone. You will never be loved by everyone. For everyone one person who likes DD’s, there is one who hates them. Some people adore wrinkles while others prefer an air brushed look. Ultimately there’s something for everyone, and changing your look does not make people accept you more… it just changes your market.
The people who I identify in mainstream media as “body positive” are not classically beautiful. Amy Schumer; Meghan Trainer; “actor from mad men”… these are all women who are loved globally because of their open acceptance of their uniqueness. Men suffer the same pressures as women, let’s not forget. But like everything in life, how much people “accept you” really just comes back to how much you openly accept yourself and how little you care what the rest of them think. In other words, your ballsiness is what people ultimately fall for.
I will never be typically “pretty”. I do not look like the girls in the magazines, and even though I have felt the pressure to conform just like everyone else, I don’t think I will ever change. My nose will always be a little bigger, my lips will never be as big as Kylie’s and my boobs will never be a DD. I love food and fitness too much to ever have the body of a supermodel; I’m not prepared to eat like an anorexic rabbit for a size 6 fit. And I am just fine with that. Because beauty is not about how symmetrical your face is, how much you remind people of a celebrity, or how good you are at applying makeup. Beauty lays in your lightness, your compassion, in the truth of your smile. Beauty is everything that you cannot see but are aware of all the same.
If you want to make a touch up here or there, go for it…. As long as you’re going into it for the right reasons. Don’t change for anyone else, because ultimately the only person there on your final day is yourself… so quite frankly, everyone else’s opinions can get fucked.