I had the time of my life. Tropical islands, cocktails by the beach, saving elephants, star gazing, making new friends. Three weeks of absolute bliss – Thailand was exactly what the doctor ordered. My first holiday in three years was everything I hoped for, and regrounded me within my own life. I came back ready to kick bedroom ass, determined to absolutely smash out 2017 with a bang, and found –nothing.
As in, not a lot of work.
This is new territory for me. I am always a busy bee, and this workaholic is normally booked in advance. Work is usually stable, predictable, paying the bills. I had heard of the mythical ‘no-work-for-months’ scenario that many escorts have experienced. I just had never experienced it. Where tours would book out weeks in advance, now they were landing bookings last minute. So what the hell was happening?
Confused, I asked my friends how work was going for them. Everyone reported the same thing – the escort front has been hella quiet since November. Women used to making $4k a week are now making $4k a month. Like Cinderella on rewind, workers seem to be heading from riches to rags at the moment. So of course, I got my research on.
And realized that we are in a ho-xplosion at the moment.
It only takes a look at the insane expansion of workers available on escorting sites to realize that we are in a massive over supply. Where a few hundred girls used to be available to book, now there are over 1000. Every man and his fucking dog are now sexperts, toting their bodywares online. Even bigger than escorts is now sugar babies… almost everyone that I know has either traded one night a week for some paid bills, or has considered it.
This ho-xplosion seems to consist of many young girls, ready to stick it to the white collar man by being their own boss. Being in charge of their body. Having an explanation for shit loads of sex. Making lots of fast money (the biggest myth of all). For some, sadly, it’s a rebellion against their family and their current life. The truth though is that this sudden escort boost has me really confused. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for sex worker rights, I’m all for being treated equally to everyone else. The day I can be covered for income protection insurance is the day the Veuve is on me. But who are we kidding – this job is NOT for everyone.
This job can be incredible. It can also be brutal.
For starters, this job is at times emotionally overwhelming, taking on the emotional baggage of client after client as you try to make them feel more loved and accepted. Get ready to hear every possible relationship problem, and be prepared to be expected to dish out advice… come on, you’re the sexpert after all!! If you get bored listening to your friend talk about the third fight that she had this week with her boyfriend, then this job – it ain’t for you. Relationship problems will be your bread and butter.
This job is also not made for people who require the acceptance of other people to feel like they are a good person. If you ask your mates if they think you should do x or talk to y, then you will struggle. By the time you hit your 10th client that speaks to you like you’re beneath them, you will likely have lost so much self worth that you’ll want to crawl into a hole for a week. You need tough skin for this job, so eat a teaspoon of cement and shut out the haters. There will be many of them.
This job is not made for people who struggle to handle rejection. Rejection occurs weekly. A client requests a booking then never confirms, or cancels an hour before the booking. You hear that your friend got the booking instead of you. You get told they don’t want to see you because you have tattoos, or because you don’t. You won’t stick a fist up your ass, so you aren’t good enough. Rejection is everywhere, so unless you can let it roll off your back – don’t even think about it.
This job is not for people who can’t be civil when someone has to cancel a booking last minute. If I had a dollar for every time I saw someone crack it at a last minute cancellation on social media, I would not need to be an escort. Guess what – sometimes people cancel last minute. Just yesterday I forgot to turn up for a physio appointment…. Does that mean my physio abused me on the phone? No. Life gets busy, people don’t turn up. Doesn’t mean you have to be a princess about it. Have a cancellation policy and inform them gently. Don’t be a dick, you will get enough of them in this job without one more!
This job is also not made for people who don’t know how to manage money – after all, there apparently may come a time where you will need to survive for a couple of months at a time with no added income. I thought it was a myth but apparently the hooker Loch Ness is real bitches, so save your pennies.
Let’s be clear – this job was a blessing to me and my life. I am lucky enough to have the personality to cope with the shit that comes with being an escort, and because of that I also get to enjoy the blessings. Yes, sometimes you will have incredible clients with big hearts that make you feel like you’re making a difference. Sometimes you feel like the world is your oyster, that you can save enough money to make a real difference to your life. Sometimes you’re taken to incredible corners of the world for work. Sometimes you love the sex. Sometimes your immune system feels like an indestructible machine, totally immune to the common cold.
And sometimes you feel like you’ve had a cold for half the year. Sometimes you have so much sex in one day that you want to cross your legs for a week. Sometimes you’re curled up in bed riding out the burning storm that is a UTI. Sometimes you have a week of people making requests for bookings and not confirming or not showing. So this is why the explosion has me stumped. Our determination to show the greater public that our job is great and that anyone can do it is to an extent hurting us… we aren’t being honest about the bad that comes with the good.
I know that when I was 22 I didn’t have the emotional maturity to be able to cope with the extreme highs and lows within this industry – so why are so many especially young girls feeling a pull to this job? Will they stand the test of time or will they crumble into a slave of their insecurities? Will they lose their independence rather than gain it? I really don’t think that many people realize just how hard it is to be GOOD at this job. Anyone can have sex with a stranger and take money. The question is can you be professional about it, reply to the lewd questions with respect, reply with ‘no problem’ when someone cancels an hour before a booking. Can you survive the head games that come with rejection, or lack of work, or petty people, both in the clients and the escorts? That’s the tricky part.
So before anyone decides to join my fellow ho’s, seriously do yourself a favour – and do some research. Because this job is beautiful, it’s powerful, it makes a difference…. But it is also not a get rich quick job, it is not easy money, it is not for the vast majority of people. That is why we get paid so much – it’s a niche. So for god’s sake treat it and the clients with the respect it deserves, and make sure that you’re going to be a damn good escort before you flood the market more, or before you destroy not just your reputation but the reputation of escorts full stop.